ONLINE dating isn’t for the faint of heart or those easily discouraged, says Harry Reis, professor of psychology at University of Rochester. “There’s the old saying that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince — and I think that really applies to online dating.” “You typically have information about them before you actually meet,” Reis says about people you meet online. You may have read a short profile or you may have had fairly extensive conversations via text or email. And similarly, when you meet someone offline, you may know a lot of information about that person ahead of time (such as when you get set up by a friend) or you may know very little (if, let’s say, you go out with someone you met briefly at a bar). If you meet someone via a friend or family member, just having that third-party connection is a way of helping validate certain characteristics about someone (physical appearance, values, personality traits, and so on). A friend may not necessarily get it right, but they’re still setting you up with someone they think you’ll like. Online daters remain online strangers up until the moment they decide to meet offline. There are certain things about a person and a potential partner that you just can’t find out from a profile or chatting online, Reis adds: Do you communicate well? Do you make one another laugh? Do you enjoy one another’s company? Do you feel like you’re a better person when you’re with the other person? Online dating is a way to open doors to meet and date people, Reis says. One thing the apps and sites have going for them is that ability to simply help you meet more people. Setting up a dating profile a certain way is by no means a guarantee for meeting the love of your life, but there are small subtleties that can help you better share information about yourself and decide who to take a chance on. Here are a few tips: 1. Pick your apps wisely Some apps have a reputation for being hookup apps; others are designed to connect users of the same religion or some other shared hobby or attribute. Use apps according to your partner preferences. 2. Be honest Research shows that people tend to fall for people similar to themselves when it comes to things like relationship history, desire for children, pet preferences, and religion. Being honest about what you want and who you are makes it more likely that the people you end up talking to and meeting are people things might work out with. “This is an opportunity to be clear about who you are and who you want to meet,” says Keely Kolmes, a San Francisco- and Oakland-based psychologist — and if you have a “deal breaker” issue, mentioning it upfront can save a lot of time and effort. 3. Choose a photo that puts your best foot forward Photos should accurately depict your physical appearance — but they should be photos you generally like. Specific attributes that generally increase attractiveness and likeability, according to research, are: a genuine smile (one that makes your eyes start to crinkle up) and a slight head tilt. 4. Get to the point Nobody’s going to read a six-paragraph essay, Reis says. People swipe through profiles quickly. State things that are really important to you and be done with it. Do include what’s distinctive about you. People tend to be interested in interesting people. And do include what you’re looking for in a potential match — an ideal balance is 70% about you, and 30% about the person you’re looking for. 5. Be open-minded Just because someone isn’t a runner or has a hobby you’re not so sure about, don’t give up on them, Reis says. “Try to be as open-minded as possible to the idea that you could actually grow in new ways from someone you might meet online.” (SD-Agencies) | 